On this night 4 years ago, I was wide awake, just as I find myself on this rainy night. When the sun rises, I will have a very excited little boy- very ready to celebrate his 4th birthday. But four years ago, on this very day, Ben and I got up before sunrise and headed to our local hospital, where I had worked for the previous 4 years. This very same OB-GYN had delivered Eli just 3 years prior, and I knew I was in good hands. These nurses had watched my belly grow week by week, and were incredibly excited to help me welcome my sweet little man. But, the knowledge of this does not take away the anxiety of a momma who has given birth previously. It is a miraculous experience, and a scary experience, filled with worries of something going wrong with me or the baby, worries of pain, worries of details surrounding the big brother and sister. Especially for a nurse who knows in graphic detail all of the things that can (and do) go wrong.
Thankfully, nothing went wrong. After a pregnancy plagued with kidney stones (20+ of them, actually) resulting in multiple hospitalizations and a fractured elbow early on in my pregnancy, I was aiming for a pain-free delivery. Which I mostly got. I arrived 4 cm dilated (where I stayed the last month of my pregnancy with both boys), and my induction started with my first-ever Pitocin drip at 6 am. My water was broke somewhere in the 8s and Liam was born by 10. My lifelong best friend Jenna made the trip to be in the delivery room to take pictures, and my mom + Ben were there as well. An epidural, progression straight to 10 cm, and one and a half pushes later, I was handed a perfect, beautiful Apgar score 9, screaming baby boy with amazing complexion and beautiful black hair. He looked exactly what I expected him to, and was pure newborn perfection. Of course, at this point, I was ready to go home, but my amazing and loving husband had threatened my life not to request this, so I obliged and actually walked from my L&D suite to my Postpartum Room. (I’m either a rockstar patient or “one of those” patients… I’m not sure.) For some reason my OB-GYN and hubby always side together.
This little guy is not just any special kid. He’s my last baby. And today, he is turning four. Which means by any logical standards, he is not a baby anymore. Thankfully, no one has given him that memo yet, and he’s still more than happy to snuggle with his Momma on the regular, and I am still “his best friend!”
He is definitely more Sydney than Eli, both in appearance and personality. He has two modes- he’s either terrified of something, or he owns it– no middle ground. (Thankfully, he’s been a rockstar and conquering lots of fears!) He loves with his whole heart and is such a sweet friend. He’s my best cleaner by light years, and loves to do anything to please me, so he helps out a lot. He’s also my biggest crybaby– he still won’t stay in his class at church without me, and if he doesn’t like something, he’s pretty vocal about that too! 🙂 Just like both Sydney and Eli, he’s beyond incredibly smart. He’s been insanely vocal since day one, and his logic and reasoning skills for a just-turning 4 year old are mind boggling. Over the last year, he’s wanted to be a garbage man, a teacher, and a policeman, so I think the verdict is still out on that one. I have no doubt he will pursue something with lots of passion and make a difference in lots of lives no matter which path he takes!
I’ve seen lots of adoptive families post “We could’ve missed this.” I often get emotional thinking about this with my Liam. My third kid (in 4 years). We had two healthy kids- a boy and a girl (and a dog!) By American standards, we should have been done. Ben would have been joyous to be done!! But he loved me enough to give me ONE MORE sweet Brooks baby. And I tear up every time I think about “We could’ve missed this.” This baby boy that wraps his arms around your neck and gives you the best hugs ever. This baby boy that spent the first half of his life calling me “Mommia.” This baby boy that shocked most of our family who were content to have Sydney and Eli that they could fall head over heels in love with another Brooks baby. This baby boy that completes our family, and has made my heart ok with that. This baby boy that isn’t a baby anymore.
The Brooks Family 