Liam

Just three nights ago, I was lying on a pull out coach of a hospital room, watching vitals on a bedside monitor. I’ve done this a zillion times, and calmly respond to the numbers on the screen. Except, this time it was different. This time those numbers represented my BABY, and it was terrifying.

A few hours prior, we had made the short-ish trek to our children’s hospital to have Liam evaluated for what we suspected was a concussion. Although ‘normal’ when awake, if he wasn’t talking to you, he was falling asleep. He vomited multiple times, starting a few hours after he hit his head. Lights and sounds bothered him so much – “WHY is it sooooooo bright?!?” Even bumps along the road made him cry out with nausea. His head hurt so bad, and not where he hit it. It hurt across his forehead. 😦 When shown the faces scale, he told the nurse his pain was an 8.

(Later he told the nurse if I had a kidney stone, mine would be a ten. 😬)

Once at the hospital, he looked at me with terror in his eyes and said “Where are we and what are we going to do?!” I explained that we needed better medicine for his headache (because what we had given was not helping) and that we needed a picture, kind of like an X-ray, to show us his brain was ok. We looked at pictures of CT machines on my phone and then pictures of brains that are obtained from a CT scan. Once the doctor came in and saw him and told us we were going for the CT, Liam asked “What does it show us?” I told him it would show us that his brain was ok. “What if it doesn’t?” “If it doesn’t, they might want us to hang out here so they can keep an eye on you.” Even with a brain injury, this kid is so smart and so analytical. By this point, his headache had improved with an additional dose of Tylenol and he didn’t seem so sensitive to light and sound. I was questioning if the trip to the ED was being over paranoid. The CT tech arrived and Liam was whisked away for his scan. I got to go in with him and talked to him the entire time. He was SO brave. If you knew Liam as a toddler, you know there are no words I could have said to him to do this unsedated. I was so proud of him. And so was he!

Not long before we left for the CT scan, the tech had brought in a laceration repair kit and set up an area for sutures/staples. Of course, we had already assessed this ourselves and were hoping he wouldn’t need this. About 10 or so minutes after we were back in the room, the nurse comes in and starts putting electrodes on Liam to monitor his pulse, respirations and oxygen saturation. “Do y’all do Versed (sedative) to do that (pointing at suture kit)?” She quickly told me he just needed to be monitored and scurried out. It was odd, but at the moment, I didn’t connect the dots.

About five minutes later, the ED doctor we met earlier came in and said “He has a small bleed on his brain. He will have to stay to be observed and a neurosurgeon will come see him. He will probably be ok.” Whew. A bleed. A concussion I expected- a bleed truly wasn’t on my radar. A neurosurgeon- wow. “He will probably be ok”- dude, really??

Thankfully at this point, Liam was pretty close to his normal self. He didn’t seem nauseated any more and his headache was down to a 4. (and yes, he had carefully analyzed his choices.). Someone had asked me if he could walk and I said “Honestly I don’t know- we have been carrying him everywhere.” Out of the blue, Liam says “I haven’t walked yet, but I know I could if I tried!” He hopped up and walked across the room. (Fall risk much? Ah!!!)

Our next mountain? The nurse comes in and puts a heel warmer on both of his hands. An IV! Although the kid has a bleed on his brain, so I fully agree with the need for IV access, I completely panicked on the inside. The CT I prepared him for. An IV was going to be like 4 year old shots- there’s just not preparing him for that. Thankfully his nurse was amazing, he was sleepy, and he had amazing veins. He was terrified but between his awesome nurse and his child-life momma, he had an IV in seconds and no tears (from him- I cried for him when they put the warmers on!). “What is this for?” To keep you safe (as my mind races through all of the options of why he would need it. Probably why I am awake at 3 am).

Around 10pm we were admitted and taken to our room on the first floor- the dedicated space for neuro patients. Our nurse, Bri, was truly amazing and wonderful to both Liam and his super tired momma. At this point, it was hard to tell if Liam was lethargic or falling asleep because it was so so late. We got him all hooked up to the monitors and snuggled him in bed for sleep.

At about one am, his heart rate started shooting up around the same time he would cry out. We got him more Tylenol and tucked back in. He cried out again a few minutes later and I got in bed with him and he said “I’m scared!” I stayed in his bed with him after that and no more crying out. 😍

At 4 am his nurse came in to check on him and he was WIDE awake and so hungry. He drank Powerade and ate crackers and went back to sleep. We slept really well from 4am until 6am until I was woken abruptly to go for his follow up CT scan. Woken from super hard sleep, I was trying to throw on clothes and shoes and prepare him for what we were doing, all the while having an internal panic attack about how important this scan was. Thankfully, having just done it a few hours prior, Liam wasn’t nervous or scared at all. He was excited about getting new stickers. When it was finished, he told the tech it smelled so bad. I admit, low key panic attack because I have never heard anyone say that before and was it being something was wrong?? (My head is an exhausting place to live- haha)

We went right back to sleep until the neurosurgery resident came to tell us his scan showed “the same or a tiny bit better” and that they would likely watch him through the day but this was good news.

We ordered a huge breakfast for us both- Liam’s included and me more than happy to pay $6 for breakfast and not need to leave him. He had a waffle shaped like a teddy bear and he was so so excited about it. He ate every bite and drank juice, and immediately threw up every single bit of it. (Liam informed me it is ‘throw up’ and not ‘vomit or vomiting ‘ and he wished I wouldn’t say ‘vomiting’ anymore. Yes, sir!) I thought for sure this would buy us another 24 hours here, but his nurse reassured us that it might not. Liam’s headache was back, his pain a 4 and we gave him Tylenol and then Zofran in his IV. (He was terrified by this because he didn’t know the IV was already in place and to use it would not involve needles or pain.).

I had been fighting a horrible sinus infection prior to all of this and desperately needed a decongestant. We clock watched until 9 am when the gift shop opened. We bought lots of sinus meds, a change of clothes for me (when you can buy panties/boxers, shirts and pants- I am not the first to get unexpectedly stuck here!), a toiletry pack for me, super cool giraffe slippers for Liam and a bear that Liam picked out for Sydney. $100 later, I had the meds I needed and clean clothes. Thankfully, the shirt is CHOA ❤️ Georgia Bulldogs, so I kind of love it! So did Liam. After we brushed our teeth and changed clothes, Liam wanted to explore the hospital again — we saw a library, a school room, a garden and a piano, and he wanted to check them out. After some exploring, when we got back to the room, he was suddenly super grumpy and looked really sleepy. Against his better plans, he laid on my chest and fell asleep. We slept like a rock for 2 solid hours. I heard a few staff come in, see we were sleeping and go back out. (I am so very thankful for this because we needed that sleep so badly!). We awoke to a group of neurosurgery doctors/residents around his bed. The neurosurgeon explained what the CT showed and what the follow up one meant. The expectation is that the bleed has stopped and the blood will slowly reabsorb. The concussion may cause headaches and vomiting in the weeks to come and that would be fairly normal. He would be on the return to learn/return to play type protocol for his concussion. We are supposed to follow up with him in 3-4 weeks, unless he is completely back to normal without symptoms. I was that super annoying mom who asked about baseball for a six year old. Yes, I know my kid had a bleed on his brain and I’m asking about baseball. But, I knew it was going to be important to this cute kiddo and I needed to know.

We were discharged home after seeing the trauma nurse who checked Liam from head to toe to make sure we didn’t miss any broken bones or other important things in the hustle and bustle of a brain bleed. Liam has big bruises and road rash on his hip, hands, and shoulders. His busted lip was pre-existing from recess the day of the accident (oh my word, you rough and tough kid!!)

Friday afternoon, we made it home. So so tired. Heading in, he said “Thank you, Mommy, for staying with me.” He really is the sweetest.

This weekend has been an adventure of trying to keep this wild and crazy boy somewhat calm and still. I’m not sure we have succeeded but he hasn’t played Xbox and his headaches haven’t been above a 2. And no vomiting. I’ll take it as a win for sure.

The prayers and offers for help and messages of concern were overwhelming and amazing. Thank you, thank you!! Liam’s baseball buddies, my friends closeby and across the country, our church, and our family were praying so hard for him. His principal called us first thing Friday morning to check on him and you could hear the fear and concern in her voice. His amazing teacher let all of his friends make him cards and they made a video message for him as well. I’m so insanely thankful for each and every one of you. Thank you for the prayers, the meals, and the offers to step up and help Ben while I was away with Liam. We love you all so big!!