Lucky

I have seen a child with his head shaved and staples in his scalp lying in a bed in the PICU in the very same hospital my son spent a night this week for a head injury. His blood pressure terrified me at 60/30. 12 years later, I can see his face as vividly as I could that day.

As I lie awake in a beautiful room in a beautiful hospital that formerly housed children on the hematology and oncology unit, I stared at ceiling tiles wondering how many mommas had laid awake, staring at those ceiling tiles and praying for a miracle for a kiddo they knew would never be healed on this side of Heaven? How many had been left alone in that very room while their little one was whisked away for hours in surgery? How many precious kiddos had taken their last breath in the very room I was in that night?

Liam had been SO brave and I was so proud of him. How many kiddos had to face terrifying and painful things as a part of their regular existence?

Why do we get to be the lucky ones? Why did we spend one terrifying night at our children’s hospital and now we are home and mostly back to “normal?”

I have no answer to these questions. But, even a tiny experience like ours will change you. Sydney has spent the day gathering stuffed animals to donate to kids at the hospital. She wants to host a lemonade stand this summer to raise money for them as well.

I am so thankful for Liam’s recovery and that we were able to bring our forever baby HOME to be the loud and into everything 6 year old he is. I know that every parent isn’t that lucky. I am so thankful that we live minutes from one of the very best hospitals in the entire country. Every time we leave there, I want to figure out how to be a part of that organization because although they walk some very tough roads daily, they do it oh so well. I am so thankful for our amazing village of friends, family, and everything in between who prayed so hard for us and rallied around our family during such a terrifying experience.

We are so, so lucky. I know we don’t deserve it but I am so very thankful to be one of the lucky ones who got to bring their kiddo home. I do not take that for granted, ever. Please pray for the mommas and daddies who aren’t that lucky. Pray for their hearts as they try to put one foot in front of the other each day.