The Brooks Family

Before you even start to read this, Disclaimer: I am not currently pregnant. Ok, you may continue!

I’m not sure if I’m just way sensitive while pregnant or people say some incredibly stupid things to pregnant women. I think it’s a big combination of both with a major emphasis on people say the most obvious and dumb things to expectant women. But, after being pregnant for a total of 126 weeks, I have been told some really nasty things.

1) You look like you’re about to explode/pop/must be due any day/must be more than one.

Can we just stop and reflect on how anyone can think this is ok or appropriate to say?? Ok, you are most likely talking to a poor girl who has never been so large in her life watching the numbers of the scale increase at an exponential rate all in the name of bringing life into this world and you just called her fat. You are not nice. You are not funny. You should just be quiet if this is all you have to say.

2) You know how that happens, right?

No, actually I don’t. I missed that day of health education. Enlighten me, please. I’m never sure what answer they expect to get to this. It could get pretty interesting, but danggit, my little people are usually standing right there when they ask!

3) Did you guys mean to “do that?”

See #2. Well, whether we did or didn’t, we are fully committed to this life that we will be molding for this next double decade, so whether it was planned or unplanned is really zero public business!

4) While I’m on my don’t say stupid things soapbox, let’s talk about one more thing. Family Sizes.

Two kids and a dog may have been the perfect size for your family. Please remember that families are not one size fits all and no mom should feel the need to defend her family size to you or feel anxious about announcing a third+ pregnancy for fear of public reaction. I love Baby #3 as much as my first!

I don’t think people generally mean to be a complete jerk when talking to pregnant women but boy are they good at it anyway. A great alternative option is “You look beautiful pregnant” or “You’re going to be a great mom!” Or, another option: If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Silence is golden. Especially when you’re the man at the grocery store or the woman in the elevator, who in fact shouldn’t have an opinion anyway. Unless it’s to tell us how cute Kid #2 is. Then you may speak!

I would love to hear your stories of insane things people have said to you as a parent or preggo that left your jaw on the floor, and you had to think “I have two options. Protect my child from this insanity and pick my jaw up off the floor, or give this moron a response.” Leave them in the comments!

On this night 4 years ago, I was wide awake, just as I find myself on this rainy night. When the sun rises, I will have a very excited little boy- very ready to celebrate his 4th birthday. But four years ago, on this very day, Ben and I got up before sunrise and headed to our local hospital, where I had worked for the previous 4 years. This very same OB-GYN had delivered Eli just 3 years prior, and I knew I was in good hands. These nurses had watched my belly grow week by week, and were incredibly excited to help me welcome my sweet little man. But, the knowledge of this does not take away the anxiety of a momma who has given birth previously. It is a miraculous experience, and a scary experience, filled with worries of something going wrong with me or the baby, worries of pain, worries of details surrounding the big brother and sister. Especially for a nurse who knows in graphic detail all of the things that can (and do) go wrong.

Thankfully, nothing went wrong. After a pregnancy plagued with kidney stones (20+ of them, actually) resulting in multiple hospitalizations and a fractured elbow early on in my pregnancy, I was aiming for a pain-free delivery. Which I mostly got. I arrived 4 cm dilated (where I stayed the last month of my pregnancy with both boys), and my induction started with my first-ever Pitocin drip at 6 am. My water was broke somewhere in the 8s and Liam was born by 10. My lifelong best friend Jenna made the trip to be in the delivery room to take pictures, and my mom + Ben were there as well. An epidural, progression straight to 10 cm, and one and a half pushes later, I was handed a perfect, beautiful Apgar score 9, screaming baby boy with amazing complexion and beautiful black hair. He looked exactly what I expected him to, and was pure newborn perfection. Of course, at this point, I was ready to go home, but my amazing and loving husband had threatened my life not to request this, so I obliged and actually walked from my L&D suite to my Postpartum Room. (I’m either a rockstar patient or “one of those” patients… I’m not sure.) For some reason my OB-GYN and hubby always side together.

This little guy is not just any special kid. He’s my last baby. And today, he is turning four. Which means by any logical standards, he is not a baby anymore. Thankfully, no one has given him that memo yet, and he’s still more than happy to snuggle with his Momma on the regular, and I am still “his best friend!”

He is definitely more Sydney than Eli, both in appearance and personality. He has two modes- he’s either terrified of something, or he owns it– no middle ground. (Thankfully, he’s been a rockstar and conquering lots of fears!) He loves with his whole heart and is such a sweet friend. He’s my best cleaner by light years, and loves to do anything to please me, so he helps out a lot. He’s also my biggest crybaby– he still won’t stay in his class at church without me, and if he doesn’t like something, he’s pretty vocal about that too! 🙂 Just like both Sydney and Eli, he’s beyond incredibly smart. He’s been insanely vocal since day one, and his logic and reasoning skills for a just-turning 4 year old are mind boggling. Over the last year, he’s wanted to be a garbage man, a teacher, and a policeman, so I think the verdict is still out on that one. I have no doubt he will pursue something with lots of passion and make a difference in lots of lives no matter which path he takes!

I’ve seen lots of adoptive families post “We could’ve missed this.” I often get emotional thinking about this with my Liam. My third kid (in 4 years). We had two healthy kids- a boy and a girl (and a dog!) By American standards, we should have been done. Ben would have been joyous to be done!! But he loved me enough to give me ONE MORE sweet Brooks baby. And I tear up every time I think about “We could’ve missed this.” This baby boy that wraps his arms around your neck and gives you the best hugs ever. This baby boy that spent the first half of his life calling me “Mommia.” This baby boy that shocked most of our family who were content to have Sydney and Eli that they could fall head over heels in love with another Brooks baby. This baby boy that completes our family, and has made my heart ok with that. This baby boy that isn’t a baby anymore.

#whatnottosay

Birthdays…