Adoption – The Brooks Family

Occasionally there are moments when I make a Facebook post, and I realize that I’ve got so much to say. Way more than a Facebook post, and often times, that is how a blog post is born. This happened to me just the other day as I posted this image.

This has been one of my favorite quotes through our adoption journey. “Ohana means family and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.” — Lilo and Stitch

This is not the reality for a lot of children, both here in the United States or around the world. Due to factors completely out of their control, such as poverty, death, addiction, disabilities their family can’t manage or sheer bad luck, these kids are often left behind and their needs (physical and emotional) are forgotten. They become a number and a burden. No longer a son or daughter.

I can’t wait to bring ohana to a child. A family. Unconditional love, security of knowing that your needs will always be met, and you will never be forgotten or uncared for. Knowing that whether you are physically beautiful or not, someone thinks that you are one of the most beautiful people on the planet. You are no longer a burden, but a son or daughter, and a joy to care for. Even when you aren’t a joy to care for, and your past makes you act less than wonderful, your family will understand how your past has caused you pain, and together, as a family, we will walk up this mountain. Because we are family- ohana- and we walk up these mountains together. That’s what families do.

Even though we will love you to pieces, we know that we aren’t your first family. We will make sure you never, ever hear us say ugly words about the woman who chose to give you life. We don’t think she was a quitter or a bad person. If we’re able and she’s willing, she will be part of our ohana too. Because, she is a part of you. We will give you the space you need to process all your feelings about them as you get older.

If you want to join us in this journey, please continue to pray for our little family while we wait, our kids hearts who are so excited and ready to meet their new sibling, our child’s birth family (that they will feel complete peace at their adoption plan), and our baby- that he or she will never have a moment where they did not feel loved and important.

The last three Fridays have come with shocking and amazing and confirming donations to our family for this process. For the last three Fridays, three donors have given our family a total of $930. I am blown.away.by.that. People choose not to pursue adoption often times because of the (ever increasing) huge price tag of adoption. I am so, so thankful for friends, family, and almost strangers who understand God’s call to care for those without families and help those in the process of adoption. It has been such a beautiful blessing to have so many people want to walk beside us on this journey. I love ya’ll. If you would like to support our journey financially, the easiest way to do so is through Paypal. Paypal If you would love for your donation to be tax deductible, message me, and I am more than happy to give you our link for that as well.

Ok, quick update. We are completely finished with checking off the items on our homestudy. Our social worker is waiting to get results from all the things (medical tests, fingerprinting results, etc.) and should officially complete our homestudy this week. Which is super exciting, because 1) it means our profile can be shown to birthmoms, and 2) we are applying for a huge grant through Race for the Orphans and our homestudy has to be attached to that.

Also, I quickly shared last week that we were meeting with a family about a potential kiddo. We’re in a waiting pattern with that, so I can’t share much detail, but I will share what I can. She’s a beautiful 1.5 year old little girl. She lives very near us, but that isn’t how we found out about her. DFACs is not involved. She’s beautiful. People ask me if we met HER, and we did. She sat in my lap and ate goldfish! 🙂 That’s the challenging part of it– that moment was either momentous, as it’s when I met my daughter, OR it was a tiny blip of our adoption journey that won’t mean too much. Thankfully, God has really guarded my heart, with a complete peace and patience that can only come from Him. The family (part of her bio family) she is living with LOVES her SO much. And I KNOW they will make the right choice for her, whether that is our family or not. We are one of four families and they are hoping to make a decision next week. Please keep that in your prayers as well.

Update on Fundraisers:

100 grid— Half of the numbers on our grid have been chosen, which is super exciting! If you would like to help, you choose a square, and donate that amount to our Paypal. Easy peasy. This is super fun, because when it’s full, it will be filled with the beautiful faces that helped us raise the money necessary to complete the expensive, legal process that is adoption.

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Matilda Jane Clothing- Now through February 28, any purchase you make through Matilda Jane Clothing, up to 20% will go to our adoption through a fun program they do twice a year called Janes Give Back! When you check out, you will choose my name as your “Jane.” If you do this, let me know and I will reimburse your shipping! 🙂

Thirty One gifts- We also have a sweet friend from church and the kiddos’ old daycare who is hosting a 31 party on our behalf. We get 20% of sales from that as well. They have some super cute stuff, and with every $35 you spend, you get some pretty neat perks! This party will be open through February 27 and you can get there here.

27858192_935956863231143_8096797026793973476_n Also, our very own business venture that we are on with our amazing friends is having an exciting 2nd season. If you need lawn service, give us a call, and if you don’t or live far away, please like our Facebook page. Clicking logo above with take you straight to our FB page!

Dear Future 4th Brooks Kid,

Tonight, just like almost every night around 2 or 3 am for the last several months, I lay awake thinking about you. You are likely sleeping soundly, thousands of miles away. Hopefully, you are sleeping soundly, although I doubt in a cozy bed, in a loving home like your brothers and sisters. If you cry or need someone in the night, is there someone to quickly respond to your needs? To cuddle you and tell you that it’s ok and to go back to sleep? OR are you growing warmly inside your mother’s womb, as her thoughts swirl too, wondering what she’s supposed to do? Babies (I heard the word fetus was banned in 2018, and although fully appropriate here, I’m a rule follower- insert eye roll) can definitely feel their mother’s stress while in the womb, and I can only imagine the ups and downs of emotions she is feeling right now. Are you being exposed to drugs and alcohol or violence towards your mother?

Why this need for YOU? I have a boy (two, actually) and a girl– we have well exceeded the American dream of 2 1/2 kids and a dog. My schedule is more than full, balancing the demands of a busy job and a family with three young kiddos. My hands are physically full with 3 little people who are still known to dart in 3 different directions at just the right time. My pocketbook does not overflow with extra money where at the end of each month I wonder, “Where should I put all of this excess??” In all rational senses of the word, I absolutely should not NEED you. BUT, my perception of the NEED of a beautiful child, somewhere sleeping thousands of miles away tonight, or one day soon to be born to a mother who has decided that she either cannot or does not want to care for you, is wrecking me. I, along with the rest of my family, have so very much love in our hearts for YOU. The thought of YOU sleeping somewhere without the crazy LOVE of a momma and daddy, and brothers are sisters, breaks our hearts. Despite our crazy schedule and our full hands, we want more than anything to give YOU this family that every child deserves. Someone to go to bat for you and advocate for you every.single.time! Somewhere that is your HOME, where you can feel safe, nurtured, and loved. Somewhere that you are treasured, and that you know that no. matter. what you are loved.

Some kids who are adopted feel different or separate, but I want you to feel CHOSEN. Despite our lack of needing another person among us, we can’t live without you. God is preparing our hearts to raise thousands of thousands of dollars, travel to whereever YOU are, learn another language (if we need to) and put everything on our schedule on hold to bring YOU home to us. We don’t know if you’re a boy or a girl, but we know that you’re Brooks Kid #4 and we are so excited about you. Because, you see, God didn’t call our family to live The American Dream. He has called our family for something so much bigger. Those who are living in the rat race of the American Dream, trying each day to get further ahead, will absolutely not understand. But, God has called our family to live HIS dream. And God cares about orphans, so very much. And our family can’t be the difference for the eight million orphans living across the world. But, we can be the difference for YOU and that will change your whole life. So, for those of you who wonder what in the world I am thinking, this is my WHY. Ben and I can’t change the world, but we can certainly change the world for this child.

We have set up a YouCaring crowdfunding site, which gives us the ability to keep you guys updated in our process and allows our friends and family to support us financially (they do NOT take a percentage, which is wonderful. It is not a tax deductible donation at this time.) Currently, it has been shared 130 times in just over 24 hours. You guys, ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY. I can’t tell you how happy that makes my heart. Thank you for caring about our family, our journey, and our baby. I know enough about adoption to know that it is an amazing journey, but that it is not filled with butterflies and roses the whole time, so we SO MUCH appreciate your shares, your prayers, and your financial support (if you feel led to do so). You can donate there or message me directly and I will send you my Paypal link. I will do another post soon about the logistics of domestic adoption- the costs- the route we have chosen to take, etc.

Originally Published on April 14, 2017— Shared again on 1/10/2018 after announcing our intent to adopt domestically.

Category: Adoption

Ohana (Adoption Post #3)

Dear Future 4th Brooks Kid